The AU
by fuzzy-ninja
Summary: It's Avatar. It's AU. Supposedly, there might even be twinkies. Drabbles await ye who enter. UPDATED: Chapter 10.
1. Dog Training

The AU

by fuzzy-ninja

(original concept by Irrel)

Disclaimer: I'll only saw it once: Avatar? Not mine. Not in a million years.

A/N: It's AU. What more is there to be said?

--

**Chapter 1: Dog Training**

"It's not funny Azula, cut it out!" A nine year old Zuko screamed out for his sister, while her birthday present chased him up and down the block.  
"What's going on?" Katara asked Azula, who was laughing at the whole situation.  
"Katara, meet Snooky-Ookums. He's my new dog. Daddy got him for me."  
"...Why is he chasing after your brother?"  
Azula stifled a giggle. "I trained him to!" And then she was off in hysterics again.

**--**

A/N: Based on a true story.


	2. Pine Trees For Pets

The AU

by fuzzy-ninja

(original concept by Irrel)

Disclaimer: I'll only saw it once: Avatar? Not mine. Not in a million years.

A/N: It's AU. What more is there to be said?

--

**Chapter 2: Pine Trees For Pets**

"That's stupid"

Katara and Toph looked up and saw Azula, giving a disapproving glare (well, Katara 'saw' it anyway).  
"It's not stupid, it's fun." Toph shot back.  
"You're talking to a crummy little plant. If that's not stupid, then it's crazy."  
"Shut up! What do you know anyway!"

Azula let out a disgusted sigh and continued on her way to wherever. Toph's face contorted to anger and sadness.

"You don't think it's stupid, do you, Katara?"

Katara gave her friend a smile. "There's no shame in having a pine tree for a pet."

--

A/N: I named mine Shaemus Frederick Keenan Zabal Rodriguez. Fred for short.


	3. Rainy Days

The AU

by fuzzy-ninja

(original concept by Irrel)

Disclaimer: I'll only saw it once: Avatar? Not mine. Not in a million years.

A/N: It's AU. Sokka/Yue.

--

**Chapter 3: Rainy Days**

It was a rainy day when her parents found out about her condition.  
It was a rainy day when they told her the truth.  
It was a rainy day when she told her friends.

It was a sunny day when he kissed her, behind the tire pyramid on the school playground during recess.

It was a rainy day when she was hospitalized.  
It was a rainy day when she left.  
It was a rainy day when she was buried.

"It can't rain all the time." Katara said to her brother, in a hopeful attempt to consulate him.

Oh, and how he longed for those sunny days...

--

A/N: Borrowed a line from Jane Silberry's "It Can't Rain All The Time".


	4. Truth or Dare

The AU

by fuzzy-ninja

(original concept by Irrel)

Disclaimer: I'll only saw it once: Avatar? Not mine. Not in a million years.

A/N: Because Drunk!Zuko is a lot like Silly!Zuko, except he's more of a horndog.

--

**Chapter 4: Truth or Dare**

Zuko woke up with one hell of a pounding headache. He couldn't remember what happened last night, or how he ended up... wherever he was at the moment. He did remember playing Truth or Dare with the group last night. He also remembered that there was beer. Lots of beer.

_Well, that explains the headache.  
Ugh, and the smell._

He looked around at his surroundings. A blue room. With blue curtains. White furniture and white blinds. The bed he was lying down in was blue. There was a stuffed penguin at the corner of the room by a desk. There was a Mae poster hanging up on the ceiling.

There was a pair of light pink cotton panties on the floor.

"Oh good, you're finally up." A familiar female's voice greeted him from the open door.

"Katara, why am I in your bedroom? What... what happened last night?" He braced himself to hear that perhaps, in a drunken haze, he had seduced her, and that was what led up to his current state, he of course would have to apologize, but not really mean it, no of course not...

"Okay, first off, I need $250 to bail Sokka and Jet out of jail. Secondly, I found your clothes, and you've got to change, seeing as how you don't look so great in my old purple church dress. Thirdly, we've got to scrub off the 'PEN 15' that Jet wrote on your forehead. Fourthly, I'm not sure how, but Azula and Haru are stuck at the Mexican border, I think your sister insulted one of the guards, called him a pendejo or something. To top that off, Toph and Aang might've gotten arrested in Canada, something about down-talking the metric system. Have you got all that?"

Zuko's mouth hung open in shock. This was the result from a simple childish game of Truth or Dare? "...Come again?"

"Oh, and you got a tattoo on your butt. It says 'mom' in a heart. Just thought you'd like to know." Katara added sheepishly.

Passing out would've been a good option, and in Zuko's case, it's exactly what he did.


	5. Creative Writing

The AU

by fuzzy-ninja

(original concept by Irrel)

Disclaimer: I'll only saw it once: Avatar? Not mine. Not in a million years.

A/N: It's AU. What more is there to be said?

--

**Chapter 5: Creative Writing**

"So Zuko, what did you write for your creative writing project?" Katara ran up to her friend through the crowded middle school hallway.

"It's nothing exciting. Just a story about a masked vigilante. And his girlfriend, who's really poor. Oh, and they fight against his nemesis, who is his evil sister. Ya wanna read some of it?" He shoved the manuscript in her face.

"Maybe later. Wanna hear about my story?"  
"Sure."

"Okay, here's how it goes. There are these four nations, right? And they're all represented by four elements- air, water, earth, and fire. And there's this guy, he's like a superhero. He can control all the elements. He's wicked awesome. So anyways, there's this war. It's between the fire guys and the rest of the world, because the fire guys are a bunch of weenies. They don't like the superhero guy, and they hunt him down. So, like, a hundred years go by, and then these water people find the superhero guy, 'cause he was in an iceberg, right? So there's this big world war-"

"You said that already." Zuko replied in a bored tone.

"Hush! Don't interrupt. Now where was I? Oh right, the water people. So the fire dudes send this guy with a bad haircut to chase after the superhero guy and the water people who end up traveling with him. Later, another fire guy chases after them, and ohhh, he's got big goofy sideburns, like Mr. Zhao-"

"Our gym teacher?"

"Stop interrupting! And then that guy dies, and then other fire guys chases after them, except this time it's a group of  
girls, right? So then the first fire dude joins up with the water people, the superhero, and his girlfriend-"

"When did the fire guy get a girlfriend?"

"Not his girlfriend, the superhero's girlfriend! She's an earth person. So they all work together to beat up the bad fire guy leader and then they all get married!"

"Who get's married? The hero and the earth girl? What about the fire and water people?"

"Ohhhh, well, one of the water peoples gets married to another earth person, the hero marries his girlfriend, and the fire guy and the water girl gets married! It's wonderful. They have babies with rainbows coming out of their noses! Oh oh oh, and there's this guy, and he sells cabbages! And another guy, he's got rabies! It's mad awesome!" Katara pumped her fists up in the air.

Zuko stared at her. "Are... are you on drugs?" He whispered.

"No! Ugh, you're just jealous that you couldn't come up with anything as good as my story." Katara whipped the manuscript out  
from her backpack. It was about as thick as a college textbook. "Ya wanna read it?"

"No way! Who would ever be interested in any story as weird as that!"

"Who wouldn't! It'll be a Pulitzer prize winner! It'll be so inspirational, that two guys from Burbank, California will turn it into a cartoon! You'll see."

Zuko scoffed. "Yeah right."


	6. Girl Scouts

The AU

by fuzzy-ninja

(original concept by Irrel)

Disclaimer: I'll only saw it once: Avatar? Not mine. Not in a million years.

A/N: It's AU. What more is there to be said?

--

**Chapter 6: Girl Scouts**

"Hey Katara, nice outfit!" A group of girls snickered behind her back on the walk home from school.  
"Yeah right!" One of them cried out. And they all fell right back into raucous bouts of laughter.  
"Hey Katara, aren't you going to peddle some of those cookies to us. C'mon, you know we're rich..." More snickers.

"Just stuff it, Azula!" Katara answered back through gritted teeth. Was it really her fault that she had to suffer through this? Just because her gran-gran wanted her to have a hobby? _Swimming obviously isn't enough._

The girls behind her continued laughing, and Katara walked on faster.

"Hey Katara, nice outfit," Jet called out from a bench, "Ya gonna sell me some mint cookies or something?" He winked.  
"Shut up!" She yelled out. _Darn these stupid Girl Scout uniforms, with the short skirts, and it just had to be a windy  
day!_  
"No really, I want some of those cookies. Zuko's buying."  
"Huh? What am I doing?" Zuko lifted up his head from the PSP game he was playing, oblivious to the events that were happening.

Oblivious to the skirt. The short skirt. The short skirt that Katara happened to be wearing. And the wind. That was lifting up the skirt. The short skirt. Along with the tight, buttoned up shirt she was wearing. Did he mention the skirt? It was short.

"Gimme some money, we'll split the cookies." Jet said impatiently. However, Zuko was suddenly lost in prepubescent male hormone fantasy la-la land.

--LATER--

Zuko sat down in front of his computer, ready to start checking various social aspects of his internet life. Munching on a minty Girl Scout cookie, he logged onto his LiveJournal and began to write a new entry.

_Today, I discovered girls..._


	7. Freud

The AU

by fuzzy-ninja

(original concept by Irrel)

Disclaimer: I'll only saw it once: Avatar? Not mine. Not in a million years.

A/N: It's AU. It's Zutara. Finally.

--

**Chapter 7: Freud**

He was nervous. And sweaty. Maybe a little shaky.  
Mostly sweaty. Sweaty as heck. But he knew what he had to do.

The soft samba music carried on amidst the mellow disco lights and faint chatter. Glittering decor of the normally mundane colors of maroon and white ornamented the gym walls. It was a scene of another school dance. 

"Katara, will you... will you dance with me?"

A girl dressed in a gauzy dress, colored by shades of blue, turned around to face him. She smiled. "Dancing is a vertical sublimination of a horizontal inclination, my dear Zuko."

His mouth hung agape by her response. Why did girls have to be so complicated? And so... so odd?

Realizing his confusion at her reply to his request, Katara laughed lightly and winked. "Of course I'd love to dance with you."

**--**

A/N: There's more to come, so sit tight. XD


	8. Thanksgiving

The AU

by fuzzy-ninja

(original concept by Irrel)

Disclaimer: I'll only saw it once: Avatar? Not mine. Not in a million years.

A/N: Written a little late. Forgive:)

--

**Chapter 8: Thanksgiving**

"Class," spoke a teacher's soft, but firm voice to a group of twenty fifth graders, "tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. All this week, we have been learning about the Pilgrims, and how they lived with the Native Americans of the area. Does anyone remember why we celebrate Thanksgiving? Yes, Grace?"

A little girl's voice squeaked out and answer that was enough to please the teacher.

"That's right, Grace. Thanksgiving is about what our ancestors were thankful for. So, just like the Pilgrims, we are going to be writing a list of all the things we are thankful for, and why we are thankful for them. Begin."

-----

"Hey Zuko!" a ten-year old girl ran up the sindwalk to catch up with her friend.

"Hi Katara." he replied back, with a tired voice. Middle school was really messing with his head. How he still longed for the days of grammar school (recess, juice boxes, kickball, and acting immature without being scolded).

"So... are you doin' anything for Thanksgiving break?"

"No. You?"

"Nothing."

"What's that you got in your hand?" Zuko queried, pointing to a rolled up piece of paper in Katara's right hand.

"A list." she said simply.

"What kind of list?" he egged on (a party? a sleep-over? revenge?).

"A special one." she winked.

"Can I see?"

"Maybe." Katara teased, holding the paper to his face.

Zuko made a grab for the paper, but missed. Katara held it out again for him to catch, and then whipped it away when he made a motion to get the paper.

This little game continued on for a few minutes.

"Aww... I give up!" Zuko huffed out, "I bet there's nothing special about that paper."

"Here." Katara put the paper in his left hand and ran off to her house.

Confused, Zuko unrolled the sheet of paper and read what was written.

Things That I Am Thankful For And Why

1) My Gran-Gran because she is a wonderful cook and makes good cookies and takes really really really good care of me and my brother.

2) My dad because he is far away and is fighting bad people. My Gran-Gran says that he is "defending the country".

3) My brother Sokka because he protects me from mean boys and makes me S'mores and pop-tarts and popcorn.

4) Haru, because he has nice hair and is very nice to me and shares his lunch with me sometimes.

5) Jet, because he has fun toys and does what I say.

6) Aang and Mr. Gyatso because they are really nice people and I can talk to Mr. Gyatso about lots of things. He is very funny.

7) My mommy because she is in heaven.

8) Yue, who is also in heaven. My brother says that she is an angel.

9) Suki, because she also protects me from the mean boys.

10) Toph, because she is very rich, but does not brag about it and likes to play with us, instead of with the other rich kids.

11) Azula, because she helps me pull pranks on everyone else.

12) Teo, because he always helps me with my science homework.

13) Coach "The Boulder" Johnson and everyone on the swim team because they are cool people.

14) Mr. Pakku, for teaching me how to swim really well, even though he is a mean person.

15) Meng, because she always trades snacks with me at lunch.

16) Mrs. Sozen, because she invites me over to dinner always.

17) Ty Lee, because she taught me how to dance and is a fun gym partner.

18) Mai, because she doesn't make fun of me, unless Azula is there.

19) Zuko, 143.

Zuko stopped reading the list. The answer by his name was good enough.

--

A/N: I snuck in three easter eggs. Catch 'em if you can!


	9. Season Finale

The AU

by fuzzy-ninja

(original concept by Irrel)

Disclaimer: I'll only saw it once: Avatar? Not mine. Not in a million years.

A/N: HA HA HA LULZ SEASON FINALE.

--

**Chapter 9: Season Finale **

"Hey Katara, are you going to go to Suki's birthday party?" Sokka asked his sister, "Your boyfriend is going to be there too." he slyly added in.

Katara glared at her brother. "Jet is not my boyfriend! He is my friend, who just so happens to be a boy. And besides, I'm going to be busy on Friday night, so I can't go."

"Really?" Sokka said, suprised, "Well, then, what are you going to be doing? And don't say 'studying'."

"Television."

"...You're going to be watching T.V. instead of going to a party?"

"Yep."

Sokka glanced suspiciously at his sister. "What kind of normal person would miss an awesome party for the sake of some stupid T.V. show?"

"I would. And it's not stupid!" Katara said angrily, "It's the season finale! I _have_ to watch it!" she added in, gravely.

Sokka rolled his eyes. "It's just a cartoon, you know. They're not real."

"Shut up! Just... just shut up Sokka!"

"Grow up." Sokka hastily ended the conversation-escalating-argument, and walked away in a frustrated huff.

Katara could do nothing but bite her lip and try not to cry. "They're real to me." she whispered. "Really real."


	10. Love Like Winter

The AU

by fuzzy-ninja

(original concept by Irrel)

Disclaimer: Avatar? Not mine. Not in a million years.

A/N: Ah, from Chapter 8, I had mentioned that there were three "easter eggs", hidden in the story. They are:

1. The little girl named Grace (it was me).

2. Coach "The Boulder" Johnson (named after a coach from my high school/inside joke).

3. "143", which proved to be quite confusing for the readers. _Ahem._ 1I, 4love/like, 3you/him. I was actually a bit suprised that no one had ever seen this before.

I suggest listening to "Porcelain" by Moby while reading this. Not for the lyrics, but for the music.

--

**Chapter 10: Love Like Winter**

It was 17and the first snowfall of the season.

It was 75 inside and there was a house full of children, clamoring to its owner to let them go out and have fun.

"Well, I suppose so." the old balding man said with a wink to his "son"'s group of eleven school-friends.

As per tradition, a good majority of children in the neighborhood always visited Gyatso, an elderly man who was head of a Buddhist temple in a nearby town. The parents all knew him as a kindly old man who would always offer to watch the children in exchange for friendly chit-chat and an occasional Pai-Sho game.

"Today," he smiled, "is a grand day, children. Fresh snow has fallen in our are. Do you know what this means?"

"Hot chocolate?!" Sokka squeaked out, dreamily thinking of the mix his grandmother would make, along with the little marshmellows.

"Snowball fights!" Jet said triumphantly. He figured that an old man like Gyatso must've kicked some ass back in the day.

"Making snowmen! And snowwomen! And babies!" Ty Lee excitedly continued rambling off her list of snow creations to no one but herself.

"Wearing the latest in winter fashions?" Azula said questioningly to Mai, who nodded, and then said, "The celebration of death. That's what winter is about."

"He wasn't asking about what the meaning of winter was about, you wierdo," Sokka interrupted, "He was asking about the meaning of snow." Mai and Azula replied with a deathly glare at the boy.

"Children, by the time you finish arguing, the snow will have already melted! Now, who will join me outside for a breath of fresh air?" Gyatso said, with a twinkle in his eye. _Something is obviously up; what? Snow nymphs bringing about the best of us. A reminder of the promise of spring._

"Me! Me!" The children all ran to the door, grabbing coats, hats, scarves, boots, and flew out the door to a fluffy, white wonderland.

Aang, Haru, Jet, and Sokka split into teams and began building snow forts and snow-based weaponry for the war that was surely about to begin.

Azula commanded Mai and Ty Lee to build her a snow castle, snow throne, and snow people as subjects to rule over. Katara and Suki were too, commanded to do so, but they snorted at said task and went over to the boys to play with them instead. Meng, however, was too happy to oblige.

"Hmm... one, two, three, four... seven... ten... I am missing two children." Gyatso said to himself at the door of his home.

"We're here." a girl's voice called out from inside.

"Ah," Gyatso walked back in, "the young Miss Toph and Mister Zuko. I'm rather suprised. You children do not like to play in the snow?"

"I can't see it, so what does it really matter?" Toph said naturally.

"It's cold." Zuko said with a frown.

"Tch. That will not do at all." Gyatso took Zuko's coat, boots, and gloves, walked up to him, and said, "Now now. We are not young forever. Go out with your friends. You will be so busy playing, that you will forget the cold. "

Knowing that his excuse was lame enough as is, Zuko complied with the old man, dressed, and walked out the door.

"You will be alright alone, Miss Toph?" Gyatso called out as, he too, headed out the door.

"Yes sir. I brought a book-on-tape thing. It's Dr. Suess. I'll be busy listening to him." Toph waved around a cassette walkman and headphones.

Gyatso just smiled.

-----

"I hate the snow. I hate the cold. Hate it. Hate. It." Zuko said loudly to everyone.

Nobody said anything.

_Nobody was really paying attention. All save for the snow nymphs; concocting a plan. The promise of spring all begins with the rememberance of winter._

"I'm going to make snow illegal." He finally stated.

"That's silly." A voice behind him made him jump.

"No it's not, Katara. Who needs the snow? What good does it do? It's cold. And wet."

"You know," Katara began, "my ancestors were Inuits. They lived in a place where it snowed all the time."

"Yeah, well that's just dumb. They should have moved."

"It's not dumb. Just listen. My people used to make houses out of snow."

"...So?"

"So... I'm saying that snow can be useful."

"Your ancestors lived in snow houses. That makes no sense. Who wants to do _that_? They must have been aliens."

"It kept them warm and alive."

"That's crazy talk."

"Is not."

"They were probably freezing all the time and they went crazy from the cold. It makes sense, seeing as how you're crazy too."

Katara crossed her arms and sighed. _'There is just no getting anywhere with this boy.'_

"Face it, Katara," Zuko began with a smirk, noticing her frustration with him, "There is nothing you can say or do that will ever make me like the snow."

This gave Katara an idea.

She walked up to the ten year old boy and stood on her tip-toes in order to reach his height. Putting her gloved hands to his face, Katara gently rubbed the tip of her nose to his.

-----

A/N: a) Dr. Suss is the shit. End of story.

b) Who was it that originally came up with the "snow-should-be-illegal" bit? Credit goes to you.

R + R, plzntnx. Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing so far. XD


End file.
